How to Talk to Your Kids About Politics During Divisive Times
- Marc Lemere
- Jul 9
- 7 min read
Introduction
It feels like every news cycle brings a fresh surge of tension. Elections, protests, court rulings – whatever the headline, you can bet your kids are catching snippets at school, on TV, or in the back seat while the radio plays. They sense the worry and anger in the air even if they do not fully understand the issues.
As a parent, you want to be truthful without overwhelming them. You want to share your values without turning dinner into a debate stage. Above all, you want your home to stay a place of safety and clarity.
This post breaks the conversation into three age ranges.
Part 1: younger children aged 3 to 9.
Parts 2 and 3 will dig into pre-teens, teens, and young adults.
Part 1 – Younger Children (Ages 3–9)
1. Keep the Mood Calm
Young children are like emotional sponges—they absorb your tone more than your actual words. If you're visibly upset or raise your voice when talking about politics, they may feel confused or scared without fully grasping why. Before responding, take a breath, center yourself, and aim to speak with warmth and reassurance. The goal is to be a calm presence in the middle of the noise.
2. Follow Their Lead
When your child asks about something they saw or heard, it’s important not to launch into an explanation they didn’t ask for. Instead, respond with a question: “What made you wonder about that?” or “What do you think is happening?” This not only helps you gauge what they already understand, but also prevents overwhelming them with too much information. Your job is to meet their curiosity—not flood them with your own.
3. Use Everyday Analogies
Children at this age are concrete thinkers, so abstract ideas like government, voting, or freedom can be hard to grasp. That’s why it’s helpful to compare political ideas to things they already experience—like classroom rules, games with fair turns, or family decisions. For example, voting can be described as a group choosing what movie to watch, and laws as the house rules that help everyone feel safe. These comparisons give them a framework they can relate to without needing a deep understanding of civics.
4. Emphasize Core Values
Instead of discussing political parties or complex ideologies, focus on the values that guide your family. Talk about fairness, kindness, honesty, and responsibility—concepts they already understand through everyday interactions. When your child hears political arguments, you can say something like, “We try to treat people with respect, even when we disagree.” This teaches them how to navigate tough topics by anchoring in what your family believes is right.
5. Limit Media and Offer Context
At this age, unsupervised exposure to news or social media can cause unnecessary anxiety. If your child sees something distressing—like protests, political arguments, or heated debates—be ready to sit with them and gently explain what’s going on. Use simple words, validate their emotions, and remind them they’re safe. It’s better to have short, intentional conversations about current events than to leave them alone to interpret it all on their own.
6. Reassure Their Place in the World
Perhaps the most important thing you can do is remind your child that they are safe, loved, and surrounded by people who care. The world may feel unpredictable to you, but to a child, that uncertainty can be magnified. Let them know that while adults are working through difficult issues, your job is to protect and care for them. Give them the comfort of consistency and the message that—even during hard times—they are not alone.
Part 2 – Adolescents and Teenagers (Ages 10–16)
1. Encourage Questions, Even the Hard Ones
At this stage, your child is starting to form their own views and may challenge yours—not to be disrespectful, but because they’re learning how to think independently. When they ask big or uncomfortable questions about politics, injustice, or leadership, treat those moments as invitations, not interruptions. A calm and curious response like “What made you ask that?” or “How do you feel about it?” opens the door to real connection. The goal isn’t to lecture, but to help them think out loud in a space where they feel heard.
2. Teach Them How to Fact-Check
This generation has access to an overwhelming amount of information—most of it through social media, YouTube, or group chats. Teach them to slow down and ask, “Where did this come from?” and “Is it reliable?” Introduce them to balanced news sources, show them how to spot bias, and talk about the difference between fact, opinion, and misinformation. These skills empower them to navigate political content with discernment rather than fear or blind trust.
3. Discuss Values and Civic Responsibility
Teens are often passionate about justice, fairness, and causes that affect their world: climate, race, gender, education, or safety. Instead of dismissing their intensity, use it to talk about how values become action. Discuss the importance of voting, volunteering, speaking up, and staying informed—even when change is slow. Ground political conversations in the idea that caring about others and participating in society are powerful forms of leadership, no matter your political leaning.
4. Share Your Own Process of Learning and Evolving
One of the best things you can do is show your teen that beliefs aren’t fixed, they grow with experience. Tell them about things you used to believe, what changed your mind, and why. This models humility and maturity, showing them that it's okay to keep learning, even as an adult. It also makes it safer for them to be honest about what they’re struggling to understand.
5. Keep the Focus on Relationship, Not Agreement
You may not always agree with your teenager’s views, and they may not agree with yours. That’s okay. The goal is not total alignment, but mutual respect. Let them know: “Even when we see things differently, I respect how you’re thinking through it.” This builds trust and keeps the conversation going, even through tension.
6. Make Room for Silence
Sometimes, teens ask a question and then walk away, not because they’re done thinking, but because they need time. Don’t force every political conversation into a conclusion or lecture. Offer your thoughts, ask what they think, and then give it space. Silence gives both of you time to reflect, and it shows that you trust them to think for themselves.
Part 3 – Older Teens and Adult Children (Ages 17 and Up)
1. Shift from Teacher to Collaborator
By seventeen, your child is entering adulthood and deserves to be treated as a peer in conversation. Rather than taking a position of authority, try inviting their opinion first: “What do you think about this issue?” Then share your thoughts as your perspective, not the final word. This mutual respect creates space for open, ongoing conversations—even when you disagree.
2. Acknowledge Their Generational Lens
Young adults view the world through a different lens, shaped by economic realities, social justice movements, and digital culture. They may care deeply about issues that weren’t even on your radar at their age. Instead of minimizing those concerns, ask what matters most to them and why. This approach keeps you in conversation, not in competition.
3. Recognize the Impact of Social Media
Much of what your adult child learns about politics comes not from traditional news, but from Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, or Reddit. While this content can seem extreme or unfamiliar, it also reflects the reality of how their generation processes information. Ask them to show you a post or creator they follow and be curious about what they find compelling. This turns a potential point of tension into an opportunity to connect.
4. Keep the Relationship the Priority
When conversations get tense, step back and remember: the relationship matters more than the outcome of any single discussion. You’re not trying to win a debate, you’re trying to stay connected. If the conversation heats up, try saying, “I care more about you than being right. Let’s take a break and keep talking another time.” Modeling emotional maturity builds trust and keeps communication open.
5. Agree on Boundaries and Respectful Space
Adult children have the right to opt out of conversations that feel draining or hurtful, just like you do. You can set mutual boundaries: no name-calling, no yelling, permission to pause or leave the room. If needed, say something like, “We don’t have to solve this right now. Let’s give it some space and revisit it later, or maybe not at all.” Boundaries aren’t avoidance, they’re how respectful adults preserve relationships.
6. Be Willing to Disagree—Lovingly and Permanently
There may be topics where you and your adult child will never see eye to eye. That’s okay. Your love doesn’t depend on political alignment. Say so out loud: “Even if we vote differently, I’m proud of the person you’re becoming.” Choosing connection over conformity sends a powerful message, they can be fully themselves and still belong in your life.
7. Model Ongoing Civic Engagement
Even if you're not glued to the news or posting about politics online, let your children see that you still care. Talk about voting, staying informed, writing to elected officials, or attending a local town hall. When they see that engagement is an everyday practice—not just outrage or apathy, they’re more likely to build balanced, active civic habits of their own.
Final Thought
You don’t have to be a political expert or have all the right answers to talk with your kids about what’s happening in the world. You just have to be present, honest, and willing to listen. Whether they’re in preschool or planning to vote in their first election, your voice and your example can help shape how they process uncertainty, disagreement, and change.
In divisive times, it’s easy to fall silent out of fear or frustration. But silence leaves a void that will be filled by louder, often less thoughtful voices. When you speak with compassion, curiosity, and calm, you remind your children that respectful dialogue is still possible and still powerful.
Start where you are. Stay grounded in your values. And keep the conversation going.